Awesome Leaves Must Fall
It’s fall in New Zealand and the leaves are changing.
Well, at least they have a bit of color, especially around the university.
But it’s nothing like the photo above.
Our “fall leaves” are sort of like our “Mexican food”.
Not even.
You never measure up to the original, huh?
Fall leaves were just fricken awesome back home.
I miss them heaps, because Fall was always my favorite time of year.
Letter jackets pulled tight against the cold. Friday night NHS Tiger Football games, and Boomer Sooner on Saturdays. (Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Selmon).
But the best thing about Fall had to be the leaves, at least when I was little, and then again in my 20s and 30s.
Sadly, not not everyone “gets” Fall leaves.
Poor Charlie Brown did not. We blame Lucy and her football. Rats.
But Calvin and Hobbs?
They LIVED for Fall leaves!
Me too.
A few Fall leaves would crunch underfoot in our backyard. Nothing special. The trees were too young.
But Meow’s house, near OU, was surrounded by huge old Oak trees, and the leaves were awesome in her back yard.
Even at age 8, using Meow’s million-year-old rake, it wouldn’t even take 10 minutes to rake up a thigh-high pile.
After you’d raked and raked raked, and gotten all sweaty and crunchy under your football jersey, it was serious leapin’ time — but you had to be quick, else the Oklahoma wind would undo your handiwork.
Swan Dive
You’d push your butt way deep into the cyclone fence, and then “shoot” yourself toward the leaf pile at about a million miles per hour.
Then you would leap. Soooo high. And just hang there, forever. (Take that Michael Jordan).
And then? A perfect swan dive, or even a full flip, dead center into the massive leaf pile, which would then explode with a “PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH”, followed by maniacal, childish laughter.
Repeat a million times. Maybe two million.
Then Meow would call you in for a grilled cheese sandwich that she’d made just right, with half a stick of butter in her huge cast iron skillet.
Throw in dill pickles, a mountain of Lay’s potato chips and a couple of AAA root beers, and man, you were livin’.
Even so, Meow’s leaves were strictly minor league.
Big League Leaves
The Big League of Fall Leaves was in Arkansas, witness the photo above.
In my 20s and 30s, when I was single and then after I got married, we’d leave Texas behind every Fall and head north.
We’d gather Mom and a sister or two, then head to Arkansas once we’d heard through the grapevine that the “leaves had turned”.
I guess it was a three-or four-hour drive from Norman, but it was so worth it.
When you got there, you could drive for miles and miles and miles and just marvel at the leaves. Seriously.
A million shades of red and yellow and orange and brown — sometimes pastels, sometimes shockingly electric — as if the leaves were God’s palette for painting Fall.
We’d drive for hours, much of the time in silence, until an awestruck sister would say, “Oh, Mother, look at that!” And you would just be stunned by the artistic wonder of Nature.
Even though you’d be driving really slowly, trying to take it all in, nobody would honk to make you speed up.
They were also enjoying the leaves.
It was sort of like at Christmas, when people drive around looking at Christmas lights.
Except here, the Autumn leaves were the bulbs.
Awesome.
People, if you are seriously into Autumn leaves, start planning now. Click here to get your Arkansas Fall Foilage Vacation information.
You’re welcome.
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New Eyes and Old Sighs at 56
(If you are expecting humor, turn back now.)
.
.
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Most things about being 56 suck.
The body hurts.
Tidal waves of regret come in daily.
You realize that your dreams turned to dust long ago.
But, for me, there has been one, odd positive about turning 56.
I realized that my alcoholic Dad wasn’t so mean or powerful or pathetic.
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Buttface & Me on Harleys
We were over Waco, Capt. Buttface and I.
Not “over”, as in “32,000 feet in an American Airlines 747 jumbo jet.”
“Over” as in “ready to get the hell out of Dodge.”
That kind of over.
Well, actually, me more than Buttface.
I hated Waco with a black passion. Buttface was simply ready to move on.
Our grand plan was to buy Harleys and travel across America in 1981 or 1982.
My Big Sisters’ Aqua-Net of Doom
Being a little brother in the sixties was hard.
I mean, there you are are, minding your own business, after spending maybe 16 hours outside in the summer Oklahoma sun.
Riding bikes. Playing “skateboards of death”. A bit of football. Some wiffle ball, basketball, tree-climbing and high jumping. And maybe digging in the Edwards’ backyard “Hole to the Center of the Earth.”
Before you know it, it’s 7pm, and all of a sudden, for no reason at all, your big sisters gang up on you.
“Mother! Make Billy take a bath! He smells like a pig!” shrieks the eldest sister, who is quickly joined by the middle sister.
“And look at him! He’s caked in mud. He’s been digging in that stupid hole again, Mother! You should hose him down in the front yard and THEN make him take a shower. He is so disgusting!”
Peewee Memories of Blood and Geese
We took a tour of our old haciendas recently via showmystreet.com.
Looking at the photo of 851 Nebraska in Norman, Oklahoma — the house that I lived in until age 6 — flooded my mind with memories, some cute, but more than a few bloody.
When I clicked on our house, I could not believe that the huge, iron wagon wheels that Dad had cemented into the ground on either side of the front porch were still there after more than half a century. Thankfully, they no longer serve as trellises for rose bushes. I fell into those rose bushes when I was about 3 and was trapped and bleeding for what seemed like an eternity. I’ve hated rose bushes ever since.
I also remember bleeding in the front yard when I was maybe 4 or so.
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Happy 1st Birthday Crack Puppy!
Woot! Happy Birthday Ling Ling III!
Yay for the Crack Puppy!
To anyone who feels compelled to mention that, technically, at age 2 3/4, Ling Ling is no longer still a “puppy”, we make these legal points:
1) We have only owned Ling Ling for one year
2) Hence we are celebrating her 1st Birthday
3) So shut up
The Crack Puppy is still the cutest, squishiest, and most addictive puppy on the planet.
Give Me A Hand – There Are Dozens All Over the Place
I witnessed a lot of creepy stuff during my time as a reporter.
Like a roomful of dismembered hands.
OK, so they weren’t REAL dismembered hands.
They were bronzes of famous hands cast by Dr. Adrian E. Flatt at Baylor University Medical Center.
Dr. Flatt was a renowned Dallas hand surgeon, so he had good reason for creating his collection.
But still?
It struck me as *way creepy.
