Valentines Day means never having to say, “you are SO IRREEEEEETATING.”
Or it should.
But the Chinese Missus felt the need to say that again the other day, for perhaps the 10,000th time since we’ve been married.
The bike I got for Christmas when I was about 10 was a rocket.
I could pedal that sucker so fast that my feet were a blur.
It gave me enormous pleasure to outrun a high school kid’s Volkswagen, because I loved speed, and because it drove him crazy.
But it wasn’t enough to be a certified speed merchant, at least on Nebraska Street.
You also needed elevation.
And, for what seemed like an eternity, probably at least two weeks after getting my bike, I could not pop a wheelie. Not even a little one.
That was as bad as being a girl and wearing a frilly dress, or so the older boys mocked.
I still think Dez caught that ball in Green Bay.
And it was a great catch.
But, to be honest, we made better catches on Nebraska Street when I was growing up in Norman.
Dez only had to deal with one short defensive back.
We had to deal with cars and trucks, concrete and darkness, and angry mothers.
You would not think a new pair of glasses would be that big a deal.
But you would be wrong.
I allowed the Chinese Fashionista Missus to choose my new specs, and she boldy went where I had never gone before.
Big, round and tortoise.
Comments on my Facebook page include:
And my favorite of all…
Yesterday, I was shopping in our version of Walmart when I saw her.
The first thing I noticed was her short, purple hair.
Then the “circus tent” dress, her 350-pound bulk, and the painfully swollen feet that were somehow stuffed into brightly colored Crocs.
I thought to myself, “I bet Mom would’ve loved this lady.”
How can you choose which of your children are your favorites, because you love them all?
Blogs are like that.
But here are my Top 10 Hogs Blogs for 2014, in no particular order, except the first one, which probably was my favorite.
Gramps looked especially cool when he was wearing his hat and tooling down Berry Road in his ’57 Chevy with the awesome fins. Man, that car was to die for.
The world was a better place when Wacker’s, not Walmart, was the place to buy cheap stuff.
“You’ve been cutting your eyebrows again, haven’t you?” Says the Missus. In that tone that your Mother used to use.
So I man up and give my answer. “No, I have not.”