Archive for the In the news (not really) Category


Gettin’ Ettin By a Big Damned Python!

There are people in this world who are destined to be eaten by a Burmese Python. Most of those poor, poor people live in Burma. Or in Florida, which is where most Burmese Pythons seem to live nowadays. Thanks to the crack investigative journalism of Dave Barry, we now know the following: The Python Challenge […]

Read More...

Ode to the Twinkie

I think that I shall never see a dessert that matches the lil Twinkie. So soft and rich and moist, it was always my foistest choice.

Read More...

Facebook Launches Stupid New ‘Timeline’ In Sheepy, Unarmed New Zealand

New Zealand Facebook users will become the first worldwide to experience its new Timeline product over the next 24 hours. “We usually roll out new stuff in the U.S., to show our mommies first, but there are certain strategic advantages to using New Zealand,” says Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. “Mainly, they have no guns and […]

Read More...

Hungry, Hungry Hippos Will Eat Your Face

Any accidental death is tragic. And yet how can we, as a nation, not laugh out loud when reading about Humphrey the killer pet hippo? Here are the highlights in case you don’t want to read the whole story: • South African Marius Els raised Humphrey the Hippo from six months. • Marius called Humphrey […]

Read More...

We Have It On Good Authority That…

* Sad and bereft Kim Kardashian did NOT consummate her brief marriage. So she is STILL a virgin. Wait. * Chaz Bono was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars on a fluke: every gay, lesbian and transgender person in America lost their iPhone that night and couldn’t vote. * If the U.S. Presidential election were […]

Read More...

NFL NEWS FLASH — Brett Favre to Start Super Bowl!

Feb. 4, 2011 – FLASH SUPER BOWL NEWS UPDATE – PREVIOUSLY DEAD NFL GREAT BRETT FAVRE WILL START AT QUARTERBACK FOR BOTH SUPER BOWL TEAMS AND PLAY DRUMS FOR THE BLACK EYED PEAS DURING HALFTIME! DEVELOPING. (Previously filed story, January 5, 2011, New York) — The NFL has announced that Brett Favre will start EVERY […]

Read More...

5 foods to never eat or risk becoming a Walmart pinup

The advertisement frequently at the top of this blog (the one that pays me if you click, yes that one) seems to have changed. Gone is Secret Exercises for a Flat Tummy. Replaced by 5 Foods You Should Never Eat … if you want to cut down on stomach fat. But since I am not […]

Read More...