Chinese flock to New Zealand for auspicious 10/10/10 weddings amidst the sheep, hobbits and killer whales

An *Asian invasion is underway, with Chinese flooding into New Zealand to get hitched on October 10, 2010.

10/10/10 is a seriously auspicious day, according to a honeymoon tour organiser. “When used in a Chinese idiom, ‘shi quan shi mei’, 10 means perfection and flawlessness. Chinese believe getting married on the date means it will be a perfect marriage.”

Lest my fellow round eyes doubt the auspiciousness of October 10, it is also Taiwan’s national day, World Egg Day and National Angel Food Cake Day.

Need more proof?

It was also when: the Soviet Union established diplomatic ties with Australia; London Bridge was reopened in Lake Havasu City, Arizona; and, most auspicious of all for Asian newlyweds, Vice President Spiro Agnew, who resigned after being charged with federal income tax evasion.

So you can see why Asian entourages (friends, family members, photographers, Spiro Agnew) will soon be scurrying all over New Zealand to find the PERFECTLY AUSPICIOUS location for their PERFECTLY AUSPICIOUS nuptuals.

At least four Taiwanese couples will be married Oct. 10 at a beautiful vineyard in Kumeu (West Auckland) and then spend the rest of the week auspiciously honeymooning with Frodo, Bilbo Bagins, and their choice of orcs or All Blacks.

For additional fees, brides and grooms in New Zealand can exchange their wedding vows atop **Mount Everest, in submarines traveling beneath nearby Antarctica, or while straddling sleek dolphins and, for fuller-figure brides, sperm whales, which is very auspicious for having large families.

Even a few New Zealanders are marrying up on 10/10/10, not so much because it is auspicious, but because the date is easy to remember.

“Auspicious? If you say so, mate. I just don’t want to bloody forget the day. The missus would have me shagging sheep in the back paddock for the rest of the year if I stuffed that up,” said a good kiwi bloke.

*(Editor’s note: my wife is Chinese, so I am ALLOWED to write this post … as long as she does not see it.)

**(Editor’s note: of course we know Mt Everest is not in New Zealand. It’s in Australia)

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13 Responses to “Chinese flock to New Zealand for auspicious 10/10/10 weddings amidst the sheep, hobbits and killer whales”

  1. malm says:

    Kris has become tiresome with his/her(who cares)critiquing(sp)of this fine blog. If he/she(who cares) wasn’t your only consistent contributor, I would suggest you “off” him/her(who cares). But that’s just me. This d*#n thing could also use a spell check.

    Regards,
    Malm

    • hams says:

      Kris, in addition to being a fine stalker, has the funniest blog in the universe – PrettyAllTrue. Which you should rid, oncet you lern howe too spil.

  2. Jackie says:

    Hey thanks for fresh stuff here! By the way I wanted to ask about material. From where are you getting these ideas?

  3. J-P says:

    And I forgot to ask: Do the hobbits perform the ceremonies? Cause that would be AMAZING!

    • hams says:

      It depends on whether the All Blacks are winning. Hobbits are rugby mad and very sensitive to having yet another version of Waltzing Matilda drilled into their heads by victorious Aussie wankers. If the ABs are winning, yes, the Hobbits will happily perform weddings and bar mitzvahs, sign autographs, and even do the occasional moonwalk. But at their weddings, don’t even ask for THE RING. That’s another thing they are ‘Precious’ about…

  4. J-P says:

    U-B-P,

    So…would it be considered in bad taste to get married in New Zealand on 10/10/10 for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th time? Cause it seems to me if that is the case, and you are marrying for 3rd + time, you need all the “Perfectly Auspiciousness” that you can get. And yes the date would be easy to remember so that is a plus (especially if that is the reason the 1st and/or 2nd marriages didn’t work out).

    And – I thought everyone knew that Mt. Everest was at the North Pole. Be sure to check your facts next time!

    J-P

    • hams says:

      And who do you have in mind that is working on their next-in-a-long-line of nuptials? Kiwis tend not to be judgmental about things like that. In fact, not getting married at all, just having the occasional sprog, is the norm Down Under…

  5. kris says:

    Fuller figured brides ride sperm whales?

    Sperm whales would of course, as you pointed out, be an auspicious harbinger of great fertility and procreation.

    Snort!

    As I am already married (and on a day that I have regularly managed to forget since that inauspicious ceremony)?

    For the 10-10-10 celebration?

    I will simply need to get an angel food cake.

    • hams says:

      Kris, That’s fine. Just make sure you get the Canadian version of Angel Cake. It’s called Eh – N – Gel Cake, eh? And topped with rockets, bewbs and coffee crisps. And in beer icing they always write the traditional Canadian greeting – “Jesus Saves, Esposito Scores on the Rebound, eh.”

      • kris says:

        Oh my goodness.

        The Canadian angel food cake sounds much more heavenly than the one I have tasted in the past. My experiences with this cake have been akin to eating a dry bath sponge.

        But bewbs, you say?

        And beer icing?

        That does sound lovely.

        But wait . . . damn it.

        I’ll need a passport to go to Canada.

        I do not have a passport.

        And there cake smugglers, you think?

        Angel-food underground?

        Off to Google.

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