Actual News Item from Rotorua, New Zealand
Rotorua Daily Post
A retired Rotorua lawyer and his client were shown pallets of cash in Amsterdam as proof of a $27 million inheritance but the pair were instead duped in an internet scam, a court has been told.
We reprint this as a public service and for two main reasons:
First, there is a sucker born every minute. If you happen to be one, and believe in get rich quick scams, rather than send your money to Amsterdam or Nigeria, you would be WAY MORE SMARTER to donate to the blog’s Kidney Transplant Fund at top left.
Second, because Rotorua is “in the news”, and also has bodacious amounts of naturally occurring sulfur gas, it gives us cause to write about farts.
That loud noise was not thunder or Mother Nature cracking another big one in Rotorua. It was the sound of 10 million women clicking to get away from the blog and our juvenile humor about farts (plus also Uranus).
Farts are definitely a guy thing.
In fact, farting is SUCH a guy thing, that it is even being used to sell 4 by 4’s in Nu Zillans. If we find a youtube link, we will include it.
But in the meantime, we shall explain…
We see a bearish, pudgy driver, ruggedly powering through the outdoors in his macho stud 4 by 4. Smash. Bang. Varoom. They are axle-deep in testosterone.
The camera cuts to his fingers as they secretly flip the switch that prevents his mates in the 4 by 4 from putting their windows down.
And every guy watching this commercial for the first time thinks: “No way.”
“They are NOT going to show a guy farting on TV and gassing his buddies in the truck. They would never do that on TV, because girls could be watching.”
But, the camera does not lie.
Slowly, we see the other macho stud muffin manly men in the 4 by 4 start to go green around the gills. Because the driver has made a big Rotorua.
He is pleased with his handiwork. He grins, just slightly, as he powers the 4 by 4 through the outdoors. And he thinks to himself, “You might get better-looking women than me and make more money, but I control the windows, Mate.”
Especially Jessica Simpson.
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