* Hog Tao background.
Look, it cannot be seen – it is beyond form.
Listen, it cannot be heard – it is beyond sound.
Grasp, it cannot be held – it is intangible.
It is the middle-age Dad’s sex life.
And with Fathers’ Day coming up?
Wives, please, no more neck ties.
Unless you’re wearing one.
With only a smile.
The ancient masters were subtle, mysterious, profound, responsive.
The depth of their knowledge is unfathomable.
Because it is unfathomable,
All we can do is describe their appearance.
They are spent. Like a beached whale.
Must have been a great Father’s Day present.
If you know what we mean.
Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace.
Because if we had a good Father’s Day.
The 10,000 things don’t worry us.
Yay for hand-made Father’s Day presents!
Now if you could please untie us.
The very highest is barely known by Fathers.
Then that which is feared.
Then that which is despised.
When the great Hog Tao is forgotten.
Kindness and morality arise.
When the country is confused and in chaos.
Loyal ministers appear.
Forget we said anything.
Give up sainthood and renounce wisdom.
And it will be a hundred times better for everyone.
Give up kindness, renounce morality,
And move to Washington, D.C.
Give up learning and put an end to your troubles.
Is there a difference between yes and no.
Is their a difference between good and evil?
Where are you going with this?
*Before anyone blows a Taoist sprocket, please note: I intensely studied the Tao Te Ching as part of my martial arts training in university. It is transcendent. Twice over. But this is a humor blog. So being all serious wouldn’t be the way of Hog Tao. Duh.