We are not telling you “goodbye” because we have nothing left to live for, although that’s true, because nothing will ever top Clint Eastwood’s GOP convention speech, unless in 2016 Clint dresses up like a a duck and starts randomly shooting at Mainstream Media broadcasters.
No, we are saying goodbye because we are about to change hosting companies for this blog.
If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you will be aware that Technology R Us.
For example, each time we buy a new smart phone, or try to do something highly technical like add bold face type, unintended consequences include the Earth plummeting into the Sun, ending life as we know it.
Because we are just THAT good with technologies.
So you might want to tighten your seat belt, stow your in-flight tray table and reach for the oxygen mask.
In a few moments, when I PUSH THE BUTTON, and I switch from the scummy anonymous pooball web hosting company that is trying to charge me $8.99 per month — whose initials are Just Host — to the No. 1 ranked web hosting company who wants to charge me only $2.99 per month for two years and sounds way cooler — iPage — my blog will without doubt do this.
As will Earth and probably Mars, so sorry about that.
We hope you’ll find some solace in knowing that we will have saved $144 over two years by switching from Poo Ball Hosting R Us (Just Host) to uber cool hosting (iPage).
The fact that we will have created a few black holes, and wiped out 7 billion people, plus NASA’s really awesome Curiosity SUV, is unfortunate but totally necessary.
Our new motto is: “Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.”
So we be changing, starting with our blog host.
Again, sorry about the extinction of all of mankind.
Over and out.
There is no need to get down on your knees and personally thank us for not changing hosting companies and, thus, destroying the entire universe.
We decided to stay with the existing provider, Poo Ball Hosting R Us, for two reasons.
First, right before we pushed the button of doom to switch to the allegedly better hosting company (iPage), we uncovered many venomous comments from their customers who said that, and I am summarizing here, they are evil incarnate; something like what you’d get if you combined Darth Vader, The Borg, and Donald Trump.
Second, despite having spent hours online trying to find out how to safely and easily transfer a blog to a new hosting company, without causing a tear in the space time continuum, I failed. And NASA engineers refused to take my calls.
So, while we are still wed to our new motto — Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes — we decided that our first significant change should be something smaller, with less chance of causing galactic collateral damage.
Something like buying new socks.
Or having a sex change operation.
Operators are standing by to take your votes.