Woot! Happy Birthday Ling Ling III!
Yay for the Crack Puppy!
To anyone who feels compelled to mention that, technically, at age 2 3/4, Ling Ling is no longer still a “puppy”, we make these legal points:
1) We have only owned Ling Ling for one year
2) Hence we are celebrating her 1st Birthday
3) So shut up
The Crack Puppy is still the cutest, squishiest, and most addictive puppy on the planet.
To celebrate we are really laying it on:
o giving her cheese twice today (wrapped around her phenobarb tablets)
o giving her chicken stick treats after she goes outside to do her business
o wiping her cute little fuzzy feet after she has been outside
o feeding her the finest dog food that mortgaging your home can buy
o letting her snuggle under the covers between the GM Finance and moi
o playing “Fetch the Stuffed Beaver” with her until my arm falls off
o allowing her to totally ruin my pants by chewing her new “chicken and mango” super special birthday treat while reclining in my lap, which leaves behind a hairy white residue that I’m thinking about grafting onto my bald spot
o not scolding her even when she insists on pooping directly in front of the gate so she doesn’t have to step on the grass and get her precious widdle feet wet
o letting her go for a ride when she gets excited and starts poking us in the calf muscles with her adorable little black nose to say “Ooh, ooh, take me, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!”
o ensuring that the she and the deaf, half-blind, 100-pound plodding Moosedawg NEVER walk through the door at the same time, lest the Crack Puppy be squashed like a bug
o letting her sit in the GM Finance’s lap while we eat dinner (OK, and maybe rest her head on the dinner table, but only a little)
o giving her extra special, super-dooper, double-choco-squeedle birthday treats if she lets us cut even one toenail without going totally psycho
Yes, we are really “putting on the dog” for Ling Ling’s very special first birthday party!
Except that she gets this treatment every single day of the world.
That’s what happens when you are sooooo cuuuute.
Click here for free Hog Tweets from HogsAteMySister and, this week only, a chance to personally spend thousands of YOUR OWN DOLLARS on the Crack Puppy.