HOG Tweet Wrap-up — Think “Bacon with Words”

Tweet Selection from February. Follow me and win a free *Unicorn!

# Taupo is about 800 years overdue for another huge volcanic eruption. This fact will be worth worrying about for the next three days or so while I am there…

# Speaking of kiwi accents… Seen thees? Stull kulls me.

# My dad drank beer with James Bumgarner in Norman. Before he went to Hollywood and dropped his bum. Let me rephrase that…

# Miss campfires. Thunderstorms. Dr Pepper. Meskin Food. And blowing up stuff. Things that made America great.

# Piers Morgan: Kate Moss a ‘vile little creature’. “I know, I hacked her phone messages”

# We are ONLY linking here because this a matter of men’s health. Not because it is about the 100 hottest women ever.

# We suspect that “Kaiser” the alleged cat is either an aluminum robot or a silky terrier in a catsuit. Dog still rule.

#Found a new dead rat. At least hope it was a new dead rat. Else the one w/out its head is a ZombieRat. Not good…

#If you ate 2 breakfasts for reasons that we shall not go into are you allowed to eat lunch? I’m thinking YES as long as you have lite beer.

# Just when you think you would have to be twins to dislike Oprah more, she proves even more dislikable…

# AIAIIEIEEEEE! 24 hours after reading @prettyalltrue about wild girl chillens running amok, I am still dying. READ!

# If you are about to have a colonoscopy or eat a chicken heart, you really really should go to the blog today.

# Everyone should have to sit around a campfire after dinner. Campfires are the great levelers of the world.

# Do you miss Tim Conway? I highly recommend Nos. 3 and 8. Har.

# Shock Poll: Old Coke 63%, Obama 37%

# MuddyWaters was always the bluesman behind Capt. Buttface. Always.  

# I just unlocked my back door. Do I get a badge?

# You know those people who come to the front gate filled with joy, wearing ID tag & carrying a clipboard? The old Moosedawg still loves them

# Dude, I need me one of them psychodelic Aussie toads. For the Moosedawg. Why else would I want one?

# So what you’re saying is Osama bin Laden was glad to see the Navy SEALs? Yep, I can see that.

# Achievements have been few & far between today. Unless you count not being in the backyard & getting killed by the huge falling palm frond.

# You know what they say about empty nests? I don’t either, so I will just say this: “sucks”.

# The killer Buick palm frond is still resting on the clothes line. A sure sign from above I’m NOT to do laundry in Lent

# The spirit of Marvin Zindler will live as long as there is a single slimey, Motel 6 ice machine!

# The Ides of March is not all bad because some people have birthdays on the 15th. There is a DONATE button on blogs for these occasions. (note: especially since we could die in a volcanic explosion in Taupo.)

# If a #solarflare really wanted to get our attention, it should have a sizzlingly close encounter with #bacon.

# Solarflares should also roast cats if they wanted my support.

# Not many writing mentors have had a beaver blow up in their face. Let me rephrase that…

# Just in case you need some #Funkosaurus to help you recover from #SuperTuesday. Original #jazz by No. 1 son Eli.

# Oreos are celebrating their 100th birthday. Lone Star Beer is 128 years old. Sometimes old is good…

# The Crack Puppy is having a ball playing catch with a grape. And this is BEFORE I give her the meds… Sooooo Cuuuuute.

# You in need of wisdom and joy? An unbearably catchy tune? Get thee to the Bear Necessities of Life. Take it, Baloo!

# OK, I’m happy to drop #RushLimbaugh into the sea if Dems will drop one of their uber radical Lefty broadcasters. This would be a good trend.

# Coffee is just not enough today. Could I order a shot of adrenaline? With lime, thanks.

# Why can’t some smart Texas entrepreneur put a wind farm in front of Cowboys Owner/GM/Maroon Jerry Jones mouth?

# Why hasn’t someone come up with bacon-flavoured wine? To drink with bacon-flavored chips? And actual bacon? Huge gap in the marketplace.

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2 Responses to “HOG Tweet Wrap-up — Think “Bacon with Words””

  1. Kris says:

    You just unlocked your back door?

    You are speaking metaphorically, I assume.

    Yeah . . . a badge.

    That’s what you get.

    Ahem.

    • hams says:

      You are soooooo uninformed and unFacebookey. Hang yo’ head in shame. This mocks the stupid FB messages about people “unlocking doors” and “being elected mayor of Loserville”. There are no metaphors being similed.

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