Everyone I know has already received millions from Publishers Clearing House or squillions from Nigerian bankers. I’ve seen their letters. But for me? Not a sausage. Until now!
I just received an official letter – posted, not emailed, it’s so official – from Dan Ricardo, Ricardo & Associates, “Litigation & Corporate LLM”, who is an expert in corporate and legal claims.
Dan Ricardo’s client, miraculously, in total serendipity, deposited $32 million USD “at the vault of a financial institution here in Portugal.” Alas, he or she left no Will at the time of his or her death (Interstate) in March 2007.
In a brilliant stroke of luck for me, and I quote exactly from Dan’s official letter, “because of the international financial crises, allot of reform has been made within the Portuguese Financial system, this includes the new law on succession/claims which indicates a duration in which such inheritance could be tolerated.”
Dan Ricardo, who is “legally equipped with all necessary information/documentations concerning this fund,” is prepared to give me 40% of the $32 million USD), keep 40% for himself (fair is fair), and give 20% to a charity in Portugal. Or “your country”!
What a genuine, generous guy, is our Dan, Prominent Law Partner!
I know you are suspicious, thinking this is a Nigerian type scam. You are so cynical and so wrong. I’ll give you four reasons.
First, Dan Ricardo is from Portugal (which was ranked 8th by FIFA and Coca-Cola following the World Cup), not from a corrupt backwater country like Nigeria (which was rated a lousy 30th by FIFA).
Second, those Nigerian scamsters always ask you to give THEM money before they give YOU money. Dan Ricardo, who I will remind you is a Prominent Law Partner with Ricardo & Associates (whose logo is the Scales of Justice), has not asked me for a bean.
Third, Dan Ricardo is willing to give $6.4 million USD of our shared fortune to charity, and he is not required to do that by Portugal’s “allot of reform”. He is just a humanitarian. (Muy bueno, Dan!)
Fourth, it is Dan Ricardo’s “concern to demand (my) ultimate honesty, co-operation and confidentiality.” And he means this, deeply, from the bottom of his heart. I can just tell.
As you would expect, Dan Ricardo, a Partner in a MAJOR Portuguese law firm (remember the Scales of Justice logo), is a busy man. He is presently in their Barcelona office. Immediately after I contact him by fax or email, he will advise “how this could be concluded”. And, don’t worry, he GUARANTEES that this process will be “executed under a legitimate arrangement that would legally protect (me) from any breach of law.”
But wait, there’s more!
Not only did Dan Ricardo, Prominent Law Partner, send me ONE of these $32 million USD letters. He sent me TWO!
Even though neither has my name spelled exactly right — in fact, the second one is addressed to someone in another city with another name — Dan Ricardo has guaranteed this “legitimate arrangement”. He has provided his contact numbers (Private Number +3519111 7238), office (+3493545317-Ext5), fax (+34 933 807 49 OR +34954 322 22) and his email addresses (firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.
How legit is that?
I know that my friends will all be toasting my incredible good fortune! I ask each of you to suggest which charities in Portugal or New Zealand should receive the $12.8 million USD (from two letters, remember).
And I would be willing to bet that Dan Ricardo, Prominent Law Partner that he is, would allow us to donate to charities in other countries as well. He probably would even be happy to talk to you, and keep your contact details on file, just in case one of your relatives should be his client, die (Interstate), and have no Will.
He’s that kind of guy.