I couldn’t think of what to write about so, seeking inspiration, I YouTubed Al Green.
And now I am all inspired to write about …
Al was my favorite soul singer for years.
Nobody could sing “B-A-B-Y” like Al.
Stretching it out for, maybe, 10 minutes.
And look so fine while doing it.
It was hugely ironic that, back in 1973 when I was so tired of being alone… (cue Al)
… that I got front row tickets to Al’s Oklahoma City concert.
I just knew that the end of a very long and painful love drought was near.
Because a friend’s cute little sister had awesome taste, meaning she liked me and loved Al Green.
But, alas, the drought continued.
By the time I got round to asking her out, the train had left the station.
So my Buddy, Chitwood, and I went to see Al Green.
Though we were dateless, we totally dressed to the nines.
At least as much as white people can.
I broke out my expensive leather coat, nicknamed “Shaft”.
Plus the platform shoes I had previously purchased when I thought I was taking a date to Al Green, and planned to totally tower over her in virile studly manliness.
My shoes were totally macho, yet tasteful, something like these, though perhaps less subdued.
I admit to having had three concerns about the shoes.
1) Al would steal them and my woman
2) I would get a nosebleed from the altitude
3) I would fall off the heels and blow out an ankle.
But when you have front friggen row tickets to Al ‘Friggen’ Green, you throw caution to the friggen wind.
Me, wearing Shaft and my Soul Train shoes.
Chitwood in equally studly clothing, with hair that looked remarkably like this, only bigger…
We arrived in style at the “Incomparable Myriad” in Chitwood’s ’68 Volkswagen with the loud exhaust pipes.
And we strutted to our front row seats.
Behind us were thousands of boy-girl couples.
Who were looking at us rather oddly.
But we did not care.
Because Al Green was 10 feet away from us.
Wearing a white suit.
Silver studs spelling an “A” on one wide lapel and a “G” on the other.
And for 90 minutes, Al moaned and growled and pouted and sang:
While lusting after my shoes.
Which was awesome.
Even though I was still tired of being alone, it did not matter.
Because we had front row seats.
To Al ‘Friggen’ Green.