Killer Horror Solar Tsunami, Planned Iran War, Oklahoma Dirt Dooms Us All

If you can read this, it probably means you are not dead. Yet.

And that’s surprising considering:

– the impending killer horror solar tsunami
– the impending killer horror nuclear war with Iran (or was it Iraq?)
– the impending killer horror EPA attack on Oklahoma’s dirt.

Fox News wasn’t clear at press time whether or not the killer horror solar tsunami was “some serious shit” between the sun and the Earth. But Fox quotes Leon Golub of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics as saying, “This eruption is directed right at us and is expected to get here early in the day on Aug. 4”.

The Sun’s surface erupted early Sunday morning, “shooting a wall of ionized atoms directly at Earth”. It was expected to create a geomagnetic storm and a spectacular light show – and it could pose a threat to satellites in orbit.

Or, according to Fox News, it could possibly be the end of all life as we know it.

Meanwhile, Pentagon officials, bogged down with two unwinable wars in the Middle East, are planning a third war in the Middle East. This one against Iran, or Iraq. Possibly both. We get confused.

No, it’s definitely against IRAN. The one against IRAQ was because it was run by a lunatic suspected of having weapons of mass destruction, who killed his own people on a whim. IRAN, on the other hand, is run by many lunatics who will soon have nuclear bombs to use in jihad against the infidel West. And possibly to crack down on illegal parking in downtown Tehran.

Because Pentagon officials are not allowed to comment on pending nuclear wars, except to Rolling Stone, the Washington Times quotes a retired Air Force Lt. Gen., as saying the Pentagon’s top secret war plan against Iraq (check that, no, it’s definitely Iran), will rely heavily on:

– B-2 stealth bombers
– Cruise missiles
– a “velvet revolution” so “the Iranian people can take back their country.”

However, speaking on Meet the Press, Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, would only confirm that America has a “plan” for attacking Iraq. Or Iran. Possibly both. “It is an important option, and it’s one that’s well understood. Mainly.”

(Ed note: confirming whether it’s also well understood who is about to be nuked: Iraq, Iran or possibly Oklahoma.)

A pending assault on Oklahoma, or more correctly, its dirt, will be lead by the EPA, who may or may not use stealth bombers, cruise missiles and killer horror solar tsunamis.

What’s clear is that the Obama Administration is taking an aggressive, “can do”, posture against Oklahoma and its dirt – technically “farm dust”.

According to a July 23 saber-rattling letter to Oklahoma’s farm dust (check that, the letter is TO the Environmental Protection Agency, FROM Oklahoma senators or possibly the farm dust’s PR spokesperson): “If approved, this would establish the most stringent and unparalleled regulation of dust in our nation’s history.”

Obama Administration observers believe that after EPA’s first strike against Oklahoma’s farm dust, a “velvet underground” of Sooner fans would take back their country. Or possibly Iran.

In any case, we are doomed.

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2 Responses to “Killer Horror Solar Tsunami, Planned Iran War, Oklahoma Dirt Dooms Us All”

  1. kris says:

    If we are doomed anyway?

    If the world is going to end?

    Then I will take these last moments to say you need a better class of commenting reader up in here.

    I see a deleted comment and some anonymous person with big plans for idiocy.

    Aren't you lonely?

    If the world is going to end?

    We should hug.

    At least.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Speaking on behalf of the dirts of Oklahoma, we strongly urge the EPA to f**off… To Iran would be good.

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