Fox News has learned that the eruption of Iceland’s Eyjafallajokull volcano is directly linked to enraged talk show host Oprah Winfrey.
Just before the volcano exploded, the billionaire broadcaster erupted herself over release of unauthorized biographer Kitty Kelley’s latest book, ‘Oprah’.
“Make no mistake, the events are linked. Both are dark, powerful and started spewing voluminous gases and vile ash into the air at the same time. And Oprah’s name spelled backwards is Harpo (her production company), and Eyjafallajokull spelled backwards is Llukojallafajye, which is the most horrible word in our language,” says Ejnskiier Kjjkjavik, a geophysicist and broadcast expert in Iceland.
Winfrey, according to unnamed sources, hopes the ash being belched into the skies will ground Kitty Kelley, and bury Kelley’s allegations about lesbian affairs, false claims of sexual abuse, and that Winfrey and President Obama were actually conjoined twins, separated at birth.
“Until Kelley’s unauthorized bio of Oprah falls off the best-seller list, international air travel will be in chaos. When Oprah spews, she really spews. And this isn’t skinny Oprah that spewed, this is the big one!”
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