Posts Tagged Jerry Jones


My Birthday List

If you haven’t already put my birthday gift in the mail, great, you still have time to read this and go spend up. Big. Away you go… 1. A big water blaster. Yes, it would be useful on the deck and the house. But I’d like to have one right now to use on my […]

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I Just Don’t Get It

I’m from Oklahoma, so there are a whole lot of things I don’t get, simply due to my DNA. I don’t get electricity: how it works, how it knows where to go or how it can carry letters and photos and spam. I don’t get why I am not hugely productive when within five feet […]

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Bold New HOGS Survey Seeks Your Opinions

The following brief survey will help end world hunger and, more importantly, remove Kim Kardashian from our lives. Please click here to take this survey, conducted by SurveyMonkey. And if you are a skeptical type who does not believe it really is a survey, I like you a lot. So I have added the actual […]

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We Have It On Good Authority That…

* Sad and bereft Kim Kardashian did NOT consummate her brief marriage. So she is STILL a virgin. Wait. * Chaz Bono was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars on a fluke: every gay, lesbian and transgender person in America lost their iPhone that night and couldn’t vote. * If the U.S. Presidential election were […]

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10 Super Fan Tips for Super Bowl XLV!

Super Bowl Humor If you’re planning to attend Super Bowl XLV, here are 10 super tips to make your Super Sunday unforgettable. 1. Fans are encouraged to bring their weapons. After the Black Eyed Peas perform at halftime, 100 wild turkeys with Cartier 10-carat diamond necklaces will be dropped from the JumboTron. 2. There is […]

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Dallas Cowboys Owner: ‘I promise we’ll be playing in the Super Bowl, my boy, just listen to old Jerry’

Jerry Jones said his Cowboys would be in Super Bowl XLV. And only a billionaire mastermind like JJ could pull this off, despite the Cowboy being 1-2010 and a national joke.

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Economic Summary – U.S. is Screwed. Unless This 7-point Stimulus Plan is Actioned Immediately!

Economically, we are screwed. Unless we enact this seven-point stimulus plan that includes China, 900 million lawyers, shake weights and Extenze.

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