Posts Tagged Obama


Hog Tweets – Summer Edition

#The voices are telling me not to work, to stay on Twitter forever. I need another cuppa coffee. #Healthy body, healthy mind. And then you have Jack Black. #America, we are in desperate need of a hero, a man with courage and taste and overalls. I nominate… #Mitt Romney chides Obama’s Magical Misery Tour? Who […]

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New Zealand’s 10 key points for White House Visit

NZ Prime Minister John Key to President Obama and all Americans: 1. For the 10,000th time we are NOT part of Australia. 2. Our penguin is fine, and we’re thrilled you Americans love him. (Sorry about the poll, Mr. President). 3. NZers are NOT racists. Our rugby team is called the All Blacks because of […]

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New Zealand PM John Key to Meet President Obama: “We Love Your Penguin”

New Zealand Prime Minister John Key will meet with President Obama later this month to discuss pressing issues of concern to both countries. Below are snippets from the two leaders’ phone call. Obama: Bob Keys. How are you? Key: It’s John Key here in New Zealand, Mr President. I’m fine. And you? Obama: And how […]

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It’s ‘Segway’ not karma: Be careful what you make because it will kill you

The word “karma” is way overused and outdated. I propose we say “Segway” instead to make it more current. As in, “That had to be ‘Segway’ from actions in James Heselden’s past life, what with him owning the Segway company and dying when he ‘Segwayed’ off a cliff in River Wharfe.” West Yorkshire police do […]

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Bernanke’s New Gazillion-Dollar Stimulus Package: ‘Innovative and Possibly Radioactive’

Chairman Ben Bernanke said on Friday that the Federal Reserve will soon deploy an unconventional stimulus package to jump-start the nation’s ailing economy. An innovative Public Private Partnership (PPP) will find the Federal Aviation Administration and major airlines combining their efforts to increase revenue, with each party receiving 50%. Under the PPP, many British Airways […]

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Obama, Oprah and Mandela on the Line

President: Get me ‘O’ on the phone. White House Operator: Obama? President: I’M Obama. Get me the other ‘O’ – Oprah. White House Operator: Oh. RING RING RING O: Hello Barack, you been kicking anyone’s ass this morning? President: Very funny. You should be on television. Look, I need to get media off the BP […]

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Oprah and volcano blow their stacks

Fox News has learned that the eruption of Iceland’s Eyjafallajokull volcano is directly linked to enraged talk show host Oprah Winfrey. Just before the volcano exploded, the billionaire broadcaster erupted herself over release of unauthorized biographer Kitty Kelley’s latest book, ‘Oprah’. “Make no mistake, the events are linked. Both are dark, powerful and started spewing […]

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