You get away with a lot if you are cute.
I don’t say this from personal experience, even though “cute” is the highest rating I ever received on the “looks” scale.
I say this in reference to the Crack Puppy.
If you have followed this blog at all, you know that we own Ling Ling III, the uber cute and highly addictive Crack Puppy.
Unless you a) try to trim the Crack Puppy’s nails or b) come to our house.
In which case the Crack Puppy comes unhinged.
Toenails of Death
I decided we were past due for a nail trimming when she was chasing her beaver (shut up, it’s her stuffed animal).
She was racing flat out, then tried to brake hard on the kitchen tile. She toenail skated head-first into the cabinet and made the tiniest little “thud”.
In fact she’s always cute.
Until it’s toenail cutting time.
Then the tiny black muzzle has to be strapped on as the blog tries to hold her steady while the GM Finance does a high-pressure puppy pedicure. Think “cat bath.”
But once her little toenails are clipped, Ling Ling is all angelic and uber cute again. Ahhhhh.
At least until someone knocks on the front door.
And she goes mental.
Today’s derangement (sooo cuuuute, sigh) occurred when the appliance repairman came into our house, and Ling Ling concluded that he was, in truth, a hatchet murderer. So, in her cutest, most endearing voice went:
And then, while the repairman was working on the stove, she did a strafing run on his ankles.
All of which the repairman totally enjoyed.
I’m sure he was thinking, “So. Friggin. Cute.”
And she was.
At least when the evil repairman had departed and she had transformed back into the adorably squishy Crack Puppy. (See photo above).
Which is why she is fed cooked chicken liver. And sleeps with us. And has her own red blankie. And the beaver. Shut up.
And it’s why, when she sits in the middle of the living room and looks at the bookshelf, and then at you, and then at the bookshelf, and then at you, you know she is saying:
“I am bored with beaver. I want to chew on a McHappy Meal stuffed toy. Yes, tonight I would like Eeyore the donkey. He looks yummy.”
So you give Eeyore to her.
And a cuddle.
And some cheese.
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