We Will Not Stand for ‘Man Heels’!

OK, we admit it. I speak for all men in admitting that, as men of the male gender, we have done a few bad things.

War, mullets and making toe lakes while standing up and peeing come to mind.

Plus, 50 cent beer night, fart noises and golf.

OK, maybe add large-bore paintball guns, remote controls and really big breast implants.

We accept that women have grounds to feel some resentment toward men. Possibly even to retaliate a little.

So, as a gender, we men did not complain when our world was subjected to abuse or ridicule. No, we bit our tongues till they bled.

In our atonement, we, as men, publicly testified that having a baby is the WORST PAIN IN THE UNIVERSE – way worse than banging your thumb with a ball peen hammer, or even taking a fastball in the goolies (well, it’s worse than the thumb banging thing, anyway).

So we’ve done our mea culpa. We’ve slept on the couch. We’ve eaten your Jenny Craig meals. (Lawsy lawsy lawsy).

But there is a point where female retribution against men must cease. Torture must stop.

Yet there is a dark brooding force surrounding us. This malevolent force is attempting to foist the most horrific torture on us that mankind has ever seen.

And we simply cannot stand for it. Our ankles just won’t take it. Have mercy…

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5 Responses to “We Will Not Stand for ‘Man Heels’!”

  1. NZMoores says:

    Kris, the standing position is rarely as lofty as it sounds. But when on top of bridges and dams, it is good to be a guy.

  2. NZMoores says:

    Marissa, I note that while I was in retort mode, my computer blew up and rebooted. I am not paranoid enough to believe that this was caused by Mr Tom Cruise or his minions. But just in case… Tom, you are the greatest living actor of all time, and I totally respect your right to wear high heels and one day be king of your own planet. Might I suggest Naboo?

  3. Marissa says:

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with man-heels or shoe lifts as long as you're gay or Tom Cruise. Which is actually the same thing.

  4. kris says:

    Not all women are alike.

    I, for one, happen to think that the women of Sex and the City have jumped the shark so many times they should be doing shows at Marine-World. And if any man I loved appeared before me holding a man-purse or wearing those monstrous shoes? I would push him, all tippy and teetering, under an oncoming train (assuming one was available).

    But I still hate that you get to pee standing up. And for that you must pay . . . a little.

    kris@prettyalltrue.com

  5. Cfallsprod says:

    Dave, Given this blog, thought you might want to know–it's not over yet. http://www.manhatermovie.com

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